Optimism

Painting my toenails a bright red seemed to symbolize to me a growing optimism after an extended time of recovery from grief and disappointment. 'Bogota Blackberry' seemed to be such a radical departure from my usual 'Nude Pink'. It was so 'out there' and stand-out-ish. Our life that had once been so 'public' has been replaced with seeking a private, simple, peaceful life - all we had wanted was to withdraw and lick our wounds.
We wanted healing.

Something rather lovely happened recently. We had a brief - 'short but sweet' holiday at Fletcher Bay. A place where many family holidays have been enjoyed. My Darling Man and I had a delightful afternoon at Malony's beach - a short walk from Fletcher Bay over a large hill. We had the beach to ourselves apart from a small fishing party in the distance. He lay in the sun and I swam in the sea. I ducked and dived and floated on waves to my hearts content for a full hour. I beckoned to him to join me - he tried really hard by entering the water gradually, splashing himself a little - venturing out a little deeper then dashing back when the waves rolled in. As he 'dipped' and splashed we laughed and laughed together. I felt really free and joyful and happy and that all was well with my soul. It was a special moment in time that God gave me. It restored and sealed something that in times past I wondered if I could ever get back.

2 yrs ago we had been at Fletcher Bay on holiday. It was about the time that we were embarking on a 'sabbatical' - a time of rest and recovery after being overwhelmed by life and 'people work' pressures and lots of personal stresses. I had swum in the sea then as well, my Darling Man had sat on the beach. I had felt so happy. I was feeling optimistic about the trip to France up ahead and the opportunity to rest and restore. I had back then tried to encourage him to come into the water with me. He had declined because he really does hate cold water with a passion! He had said, "I am just enjoying watching you enjoy yourself." I guess it was a rare thing for him to see me so unashamedly happy in those days of high stress and huge pressures. It was a special moment soon to be shattered by the some really bad news.

The last poem to be reproduced in San Hunt's book 'Backroads: Charting a Poet's Life' has the lines "I like being this little bit older" and "I like being this little bit sadder." Craig Potton Publishing.

Is optimism only for the young? If you observe them they are often full of hope and confidence and energy - I guess it has something to do with the fact that they haven't suffered a lot of 'knocks' yet. 'Ah, let them have their day in the sun', my friend will say 'Soon enough they will have to face up to the harsh realities of life'

One of the secrets to maintaining optimism is to move from 'expectation' to 'expectancy'. With 'expectation' we expect certain things (usually only good things) to happen and when they don't our hopes are dashed and we are disappointed. With 'expectancy' we live a life of faith, our hope is centred on God, believing that whatever happens in life - both good and bad - God is able to bring something 'good' out of it.